The End Of The Chapter, But The Book Remains Open

Well, it’s finally here! Last Wednesday I had my final Herceptin injection. This means I’m officially out of active treatment and, according to my fav oncologist, Dr. Susie Stanway, I am now in remission! It’s still hard to believe it’s happened but, understandably, I am incredibly happy about the news. I even had a couple of glasses of champagne to celebrate.

Cheers!

It’s taken eight cycles of chemo, a lumpectomy, twenty rounds of radiotherapy, seventeen Herceptin injections, countless side effects (constipation, hair loss, nail loss, nausea, joint pain, possible infertility) and the pills I’m still on (beta blockers and Tamoxifen), not to mention the Zoladex injections I still have, but I can finally say with confidence that I am in remission.

I can’t bring to say that I’m cancer-free. I don’t like that term. For me, it’s incorrect. I will never truly be cancer-free. I will never be able to donate blood in case there are still traces of cancer cells in there. We all know that cancer is a sneaky bugger. I could be fine for decades, then all of a sudden – BAM! Back to where I was. But I’m in a better place now than I was a year ago and all the drugs I have to take will help my chances of sticking around long into old age. I prefer the term NED – No Evidence of Disease. It will be about five years before I can legitimately use that, but, for now, remission is my new BFF.

Before I had my last Herceptin injection, I took myself off to Reykjavík for the Iceland Airwaves Music Festival. It was my fourth trip to Reykjavík and my second time to Airwaves, so it’s safe to say that I love going back.

  

Sólfar sculpture

  

East India Youth

Sleaford Mods

  

Hot Chip

I wasn’t in a good head space before I left. A combination of issues with lack of self worth, lack of confidence and hormones all over the shop due to the Zoladex injections kicking in (I’ve started to experience hot flushes. They’re not too bad and seem to, for now, happen at night). But going away did me the world of good. Being able to travel, see and hear so many musicians, chat to different people, it was like my pre-cancer life. I even managed to walk past Björk and got chatting to Charlotte Church, who was incredibly lovely (especially when I said I was going to see Vagina Boys because “if it’s anything to do with vaginas, I am in there!”)

Today I had a smear test. I know only too well about how important early detection of cancer is. Also, my friend, Rachel of the Life In Geordieland blog (we went to uni together) is a cervical cancer survivor herself and does a lot to make people aware of cervical cancer and testing. My smear took less than five minutes to perform (my cervix was being well behaved this time – it’s normally shy and hard to see) and I should get the results in two weeks.

Cancer will always be a part of my life, but, for now, this chapter is closed. Onto the next chapter!